no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
