Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
