hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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