Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
