Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize