worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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