thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
