My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
