The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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