what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
This baby is an asshole
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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