Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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