Bisexual people are plain selfish.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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