New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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