Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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