I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize