I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize