ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I didn't notice because vodka
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just want to make out with him forever
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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