I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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