DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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