I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you inspire me to be a worse person
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
