thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
