He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
