i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
