The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
