some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was confusing and full of hummus
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize