come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
