The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
