They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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