I never want to see another naked old woman again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
