dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
