So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize