I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
