He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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