how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
