Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
this will be a night to untag.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
