I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize