you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I bet he comes in French.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
In America we eat man semen.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
