1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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