I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
