I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
