i just wanna soil my oats bro
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
