I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
