the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
