He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
