The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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