The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
