Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
