She's JV to your varsity
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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