Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Two words: nipple clamps
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