He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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