if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
