Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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