Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
