just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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