i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We need to rekindle our bromance
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
