wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
