somebody snuck up and got me drunk
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
