I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
