either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
This baby is an asshole
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
