What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
