Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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