Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
