from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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