I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize