dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
