is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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