and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
