but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
