the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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