Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
