Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize