very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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