Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
