my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
